These replies are interesting. When I was a child, I literally tried to make myself in every situation -- to take up as little space as possible in a room, to stay at the edge, to be very quiet. I even thought of it that way -- making myself invisible.

During women's assertiveness training in the 80s, I learned that women often are like this and learned techniques for not behaving that way in business meetings -- spreading out my materials in front of me, body language, etc.

I look at old home movies of myself as a child trying to be invisible, and it is heart-breaking to see this lovely little girl, later a gawky adolescent on the verge of womanhood, squishing herself into the corners of the room.

I do understand not wanting to be contacted and interrupted, needing time to recoup one's emotional energy -- part of the reason I went anonymous for a spell. I'm not making any judgments one way or another about which way is bad or better.

Each thing serves each of us.

One thing I was told as a newcomer was to PM other people online with "waving." I tried this and it did help me make personal contact with people. The PMs didn't necessarily grow into great online friendships, but the element of personal contact does make things less anonymous. Made me feel less invisible here. Even if one is anonymous oneself, it is still possible to PM others online with a friendly wave if you would like to be less invisible, at least to people of your choice.

Thank for answering everyone who has. This has been very enlightening.