Hi Fuzzybear --

I am sorry that you were shut out of a private chat room and felt left out and unsupported.

I was in a private chatroom tonight, so I hope I wasn't part of the problem.

Whenever I have been in private, protected chat, it has never been to shut out anyone. I rarely use the "eye" button to even know who is coming and going in other rooms. I go to private chat to get my needs met or to be supportive for someone else who is uncomfortable in the larger, open room. Sometimes my "need" is to laugh and giggle and not respond to people who need support.

People needing support do come into social chat when they aren't getting what they need elsewhere. This lays a huge guilt trip on those who are there to socialize -- and we do not wish to make anyone's problems bigger by being unsupportive. We are here because we are ill, too. But sometimes one needs escape, and a private room is a place to confide privately instead of publicly, or laugh without guilt, or chat with people one hasn't connected with in a long time --which can be hard when public rooms are crowded as general was last night.

I am sorry that you felt locked out, because I have been the one who has felt locked out, too. I know it is an awful feeling. I have even felt that here at the Forums. But I do hope you can see that it was probably not about excluding you, dear Fuzzybear, but about the others getting their needs met.