Yes, I am reasonably convinced, I am in a manipulative, emotionally abusive relationship.

In regard to conscious intent, I really don't think that is a necessary element, of the offense, of emotional abuse. Many, abuse out of reflex, i.e., it is a function of their personality, or more likely, their personality disorder. It doesn't, take much conscious intent to smirk, roll your eyes, or raise your voice. However, no doubt, there certainly can be, premeditated, emotional abuse, with the conscious intent to control, or coerce another.