artsy,

you r right. your mom is being emotionally abusive. you cannot fix her. you can understand that she has severe emotional problems without tolerating her abuse. find someone in real life you can talk to (preferably a therapist) about this and how to cope with the hurt. set VERY firm limits with your mom. don't let her come over until you are more settled. don't have any contact if you don't want to. if you decide to have contact with her, start slow and let her know that if she is becomes abusive you will stop any contact you are having with her until she has stabilized.

hope this helps. take care of you and your husband and child!

- ft