((((((((((breakdown))))))))))))

Most people don't understand this kind of addiction. There really aren't support groups for it and it's a taboo subject not really discussed or fully understood except by those going through it.

Four weeks is GREAT. Hold onto the good feelings of having come this far... how have you dealt with the urges up until now?

You are trying your hardest. I'm going to share something here... I first stopped for a guy friend of mine. He was so caring, and so supportive... and I felt I owed it to him, that because he asked me to take care of myself that I was simply existing to make him happy. That's how I started out down my path to NOT SIng. I messed up, I fell down and had to restart. I restarted... saying day by day, moment by moment ... but for ME. It takes a while to get to that point though.

Just take it as the urges come, day by day, minute by minute if you need to. Making a contract that you won't SI before such-and-such time can help too... but then you reach the end of it, but extend it, to something manageable. One night, one day, 6 hours, 1 hour ... whatever you think you can do without beating yourself up about it.

Breathe. I'm sorry you're struggling, it's a struggle that we all share here. We understand, even if others don't.