(((((Christina)))))
I hear all your struggles and I am so sorry things are so hard for you right now.
But in the midst of all the struggle, this sentence really stuck out to me:
You said you're "loving how [life] is getting better. Slowly, but it is... I think. I feel better. I can cope better."
How wonderful that is - all your struggle is not in vain. Hang on to that one sentence - that one positive thing. You are trying hard and making progress - you can do it. It will never be perfect but just do the best you can.

ktgirl