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have you considered medications? at least until you get some better understanding of the underlying issues? A medical doctor might be able to help you choose something to help calm you while you address this.
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“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” -His Holiness, the Dalai Lama
I will not kneel, not for anyone. I am courageous, strong and full of light. Find someone else to judge, your best won't work here.
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