i dont know why im writting this or even what i expect by writting it but im just really upset and my heart hurts so bad, i found out today that my best friend tryed to kill herself tue, and it hurts so bad shes so sweet and she hurts so much i just want to take her pain away, i feel like i could have done something, like tue when i saw her last and she flipped out and her and her mom where fighting i should have stayed and done something, but no i left cause thats what her mom wanted, i was stupid, i never should have left. why did i leave. i thought she would be okay or get a hold of me somehow if she needed me, i shouldnt have left how could she get a hold of me she has no phone, stupid idiot, %#@&#! it i never shoulda left. now shes in lock down and i cant see her for a while at least 10 days unless they make her stay longer, this is all my fault, i failed her, like i failed everyone eles. i hate death death is a vindictive heartless cold blooded creature. HATE IT!