I found out my Aunt passed away.... It has been a difficult week since then. I have been mostly sleeping and trying to forget about it, make it go away. I haven't called my mother because I don't want to talk about it. My sister called and I talked about it a little but don't really want to talk about it any more...she called again and I didn't call her back. My brother called and wanted to talk about it but I didn't want to talk about it. I wish it away...!!!

I know they want me to go to the funeral but i can't. I feel weak because I can't go or won't go. I would rather remember people as I see them in my head the last time I saw them, not in a casket. My anxiety is high, tension all around. My dd has been suffering through me. She says I've been mean to her all week and she is right...irritable...depressed....and don't know what to do about it...angry. As my therapist says, "what am I angry about!" Well...everything would be the answer....happiness just doesn't seem to be in me!

TJ