(((((((((((( vetswife )))))))))))))

I hope in my previous post I did not make you feel as if you didn't matter in this situation. It certainly was not my intention to convey that at all. You most certainly do matter as well as your children and husband.

Yes, TBI is very very difficult to live with on all sides of the equation. And sometimes, do to the severeness of the TBI, the situation is so difficult and unsafe. I completely agree with Sky in that he does need to have services in order to help him learn new ways of thinking and dealing. The brain is an amazing thing....in many cases it can be taught to work in different ways. And people with TBI can learn techniques to help them deal with their injuries and behavior issues.

The most important thing is to keep you and your children safe through all of this. If you must leave the situation, then please do your best to plan for it. Find out your options and what the community has to offer you and your children. If you must leave quickly for safety reasons, please do not worry about taking your belongings....but, have all your important papers in a safe and accessible place that you can grab and go if need be. If something like this happens, the court system/local police dept can help you retrieve your belongings safely after you have left and gotten to safety.

In the meantime, why not have a talk with your husband about getting help BEFORE there is another blowup? Trying to talk to your husband when he is off the deepend will not be successful and may only inflame the situation. Before having a talk with him, why not look into some options for him so you have them available to hand him when you have your conversation. Give him options to choose from....something he can help decide on his own where to turn. Maybe in that way he will feel like he can help himself instead of feeling like he is being forced?

I don't know if any of these ideas are helpful to you. I can only imagine what you all must be going through. My best thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.


sabby