((((((((((squid)))))))))) I'm so very sorry for your pain. I have had some close stuff with my son where I thought I would lose him. It was very traumatic. I feel so much for you right now and I wish I could take away your pain. Do you have anyone there to help you through this time? I know when my husband died, the worst times were after everyone went home and back to their lives and there I was.

Is there anything you can throw your mind into for now to ease back from the pain some? I know it's cliché to say that time helps, but it did for me with husband. I know that losing a child is so much more different than a mate though. It's not something that one gets over, but I did learn to live beside it. I'm glad you found us here and I hope we can be a support to you.

Please take good care