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bchlyn said:
my son tends to blame me for his struggles

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Hi Lyn

My mother was angry and abusive towards me, and she was bitter about life. She blamed it all on me because she didn't know what was wrong with her or why she couldn't function like everyone else. Her symptoms appeared around the time I was born and doctors had previously warned her not to have any more children, so she figured my birth triggered her problems.

It turned out she had an illness called familial amyloidosis. It was just a coincidence that my birth coincided with the onset of her symptoms.

I grew to hate my mother too. Even after she was diagnosed, we continued to hate each other. I didn't believe her story about being the "only one in the US," especially since I worked for doctors at the time and had access to the medical library. There was no mention of her illness anywhere.

After she died, I was left holding the ball. I found out I have the same illness - gee, thanks, mom.

I spent some time crying in my soup, but then I realized it is what it is. I can cry all I want about the past, but it will never change what happened. It simply made me who I am today. It's my responsibility to keep on trying to live in a good way, baggage and all.

I no longer blame my mom. She tried very hard to live. If she would have been given the chance, I suspect she would have been a GREAT mom to me.

The same goes for your son. What happened, happened. It's our responsibility to play the cards we are dealt in this life. Sometimes our most painful memories of the past serve to give us strength later on in life.

I'll keep you and your son in my prayers - oh, and the other kids too.