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Talking to others about their experiences with rape does not thrill me in particular. I can talk about it: yes; I prefer not to because it doesn't make it go away: and I can't change that unfortunately. I like helping others; but, don't want to hear the details of some horrific rape verbatim and every single paly-by-play if you understand what I'm trying to say.

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Nothing will ever make it go away, but talking to people who understand can really help.

I don't think you need to help anyone other than yourself. Getting counseling is all about you, and not about being there to help anyone else.

In my experience, my T has never asked me to give a play-by-play. From what I understand, going back and re-living the play-by-play is not encouraged because it can re-traumatize. So, I understand your concern.

What has helped me most with counseling, is dealing with my PRESENT. Not letting my PAST be such a huge part of what I am today. Yes, it did happen, nothing will change that -- but it does not have to define who I am as a person.

If you are comfortable having sex with this guy, one final piece of advice:
Talk ahead of time, and create a 'Safe Word' -- something you can say if you start to get overwhelmed, so your partner can stop. If the partner does not respect this idea, I would not feel comfortable getting intimate with him.