You know, that reminded me of my sis used to push the idea on my mom of getting into a retirement village near her home - which was near mine.

I was panicked about it also as together the sister and mother were a gruesome twosome, who menaced and shared similar jealousies.

I really did not want that to happen, to worsen things for me so I decided --- I am not included, will not be included, will not re-visit the past the two of those bullies, so, I stayed out of it completely.

Any of the plans, etc, I was not available. I had to work and raise my kid. I had reasons to keep to myself and my young one, so I protected myself by staying out of it.

It didn't happen. Other sibs weren't involved, it was the one sister.

If it had happened, I made up my mind already to stay away - my self protecting was long overdue and well earned.

Try that on for size. I know it's scary, but detaching from that manipulating move was best for me - either way.

Your mother can probably get more help where she is a resident of a few years anyway!

All in all, she abused a child. She doesn't get another opportunity to frighten you.

You hold all the cards for your hand in life now.

You pull the plug on your end, Dear Candy, and when sister sees she will have to do everything on her own, she may pull it too.

Whatever happens, you don't owe her - you don't have to be there.

Protect and preserve.

Peace,
night