Right. Where shall I start?

I haven't opened up about this before.

Well. Basically.

I'll start off with my brother.

Basically. For 10 years of my so far 14 year life, my brother beat the s*** out of me. I remember, being pushed on the floor in front of his mates. Gathering around me, in a circle. They'd cheer him on as he kicked me and kicked me and kicked me. That happened only 11 times. I suppose I deserved it. I was too happy - I am not supposed to be happy. I suffered a broken arm from the 7th time he did this.

Another time, he recorded me as he upset me and I started crying. He'd call me a sissy, chicken, poofter, retard, freak, gay, geek., as he'd chase me around the house, filming with a webcam, attached to the downstairs computer. He ended up hitting me because I pushed him backwards to defend myself.

I remember him once, firing a bb gun at me. Plastic pellets hurt when they strike you from just a few centimeters away. Especially in your face.

I just think, now. These memories are so triggering to me! I am so....isolated right now! I feel like everyone hates me at the right moment.

Should I quite PC? Oh god. I have triggered myself again

SHOULDN'T OPEN UP ANYMORE!