The idea is for it to be a natural part of the conversation, but basic counseling is really just refined conversation and communication skills. Paraphrasizing and summarizing are skills too. When I first started learning about counseling I would be concentrating in my therapy on trying to identify the skills. But that's not really helpful for therapeutic purposes. I do better in therapy if I save that stuff for the classroom. Sometimes I'll recognize a technique that T is using, but I have to remind myself that I'm there for another reason.

An alternative to reflecting might be to ask you questions, and that has its place too, but it is generally less preferred. And there are other options like giving advice, interpreting, using nonverbal responses like eye contact and body language, and occasional self-disclosure. All of these can be good techniques, but generally they are used less than reflecting (with the exception of the nonverbals).