Re: Rejection Sensitivity

Well I wrote the above very tired and without enough space to see whole clearly... Today (before I logged on) I felt some rejection sensitivity in thinking I had overstepped myself.. Displayed too much assertion... Maybe probably I did... no responses so perhaps "rejected" somewhat here... This is fine and good if it is so or if it is not... My own rejection sensitivity here helps me correct my flying course with other people, because there is flying alone sometimes and there is flying with other people... Flying with other people is where rejection sensitivity comes in... Ellis who I talked about earlier in his book" How to control your anxiety before controls you " Spoke of a client of his who was overly boisterous as a child... too much on the assertion side of the street without listening sensitively to her communions with the group... Therefore she overstepped the "line" so to speak and was, I guess, rejected... now at a certain age belongings needs come to the fore as we adjust to our social surround... To be rejected is to be plunged into pit of isolation/devestation drowning because not getting needs met... In order that this rejection never happen again this woman into young adulthood (who was formerly a little too outgoing and mischievous etc.) became extremely timid... You see she did not want to be "punished" again... It was too painful... She became overly sensitive with herself and avoided social contact etc. etc. etc. (rejection sensitivity) Well ellis always prescribes homework in sensitization... He had the woman do such things as take her pet banana (i.e. something others would think is crazy strange bizarre etc.) for a walk (in front of others etc.)... She became progressively more at ease with herself and became acculturated into normal adult relations no longer fearing a replaying of the devastating rejection (isolated from getting needs met) tape of childhood.... When I was looking at this this morning lots of ramifications here and I am sure I wont see all of them... 1st example +boiserousness... Another might be shy kid (genetically or whatever) doesn't speak up and more dominant kids are in control... Now a wallflower and if does start to assert maybe not as strong as other boys (or as pretty as other girls) (in our culture) and they according to biological morality at this age dominate to assert their own or their own and there groups dominant position... therefore again one starts out shy for whatever reason and again learns to avoid speaking up or may fear it feel anxiety because was punished (dominated put into "place" when younger... I am sure that childhood with mother comes into play here too... Karen horney 3 neurotic strategies at this site

file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/default/My%20Documents/Misc/Karen%20Horney%20lecture.htm

Another would be around area of opposite sex... Again were rejected... learned response and avoidance of this punishment in future at all costs... I think these factors are at work in every life... And again it just means getting back up when knocked down and trying again guided with whatever wisdom we can draw upon... With this problem I think we need to keep remembering our inner rock star... its a lot of fun and very exciting... breaking boundaries growing creatively into the new.

found this
Studies have shown that the information in peoples environment can greatly affect them without them even being aware of it. Other studies have shown that certain people have attentional biases toward either threatening, or rejection information, which in turn perpetuates their sensitivity to rejection and could cause them to develop low self-esteem. Our studies have shown that people with low self-esteem have an attentional bias for rejection and people with high self-esteem do not. The purpose of the EyeSpy project is to help change peoples attentional bias for rejection, more specifically to teach people with low-self-esteem to ignore rejection information.


see also

rejection Sensitivity Questionnaire ttp://www.people.virginia.edu/~psykl...%202004/Ho.ppt

from rocks to rockstars to sages evolution's going somewhere