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Kiya, said:
i told her i'd think on it... but that i just may not be able to do it.

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Kiya, Hmmmm now that was a smart move. You let her know what you are considering but gave yourself the option of changing your mind. Wish I had thought of that

Kiya it sounds to me like you really want to go to these sessions but are just anticipating the unbearableness of the later separation. I recommend going to the session you do have, collaborate on a plan, and then dealing with the separation on a day by day basis. Who knows one of these 2 sessions could be transformative and you might gain something that helps you handle the time off better.