How can one feel both emotions at once?!

He so bloody UNDERSTANDING it makes me want to scream. I have no idea why, but I don't deal well with total acceptance of my "being".

Not so crazy about him saying that although I don't have a lot of problems, that 3 years of counselling isn't long and he could see me using counselling (productively) for much longer. I think that makes me sound like I've got a ton of issues... which I don't like as a thought because I've always seen myself as less deserving and needing of help. Argh. So I'm relenting. I will go to counselling on campus until I graduate. Then we'll see how many more issues I need to resolve... considering I might not graduate for 3-4 more years (doing another BA after I graduate from BA #1 in June!).

He also challenged me on some of my negative thinking which I don't exactly take kindly too... but ... overall, it was good.

Sigh. I he calls me "difficult" because he can't figure out if the ADs are working or not, because for the most part my depression is situationally affected - have a good day, feel on top of the world... have a crappy day, and boy oh boy... yeah, I'm down in the pits.

But it makes me feel like an enigma with him trying to figure me out.

Best. Comment. Ever. though - "I think you would make a great counsellor". Wow. I never expected anyone to say that. He actually said that! I have boundary problems, so I never thought it would be possible to become a counsellor because I'd probably spend all my time worrying about clients (already do that already with friends ) but he said that he honestly felt that with the training that is provided for that sort of thing - that I'd be a good therapist! YAY! Wow. Someone actually believes that I can do something like that... I never thought I could, although I want to.

I love him, he's fantastic. Funny and sarcastic, just like me so we get along great - but he's also positive and can get me to see reason, which isn't an easy feat for most people.

I wish I could do therapy with him, he knows more about me (obviously condensed) than some T's I've seen. I'm glad I get the hour to ramble incessantly about stuff and that he understands my weird quirks.

That makes me feel less crazy.

He said I've made positive changes (myself) in my life... and he feels that I've changed for the better, but he says he can't attribute it to anything he's ever said to me. But he's congratulating me on thinking ahead and doing positive stuff for me (for once).

Sigh. I don't want to ever ever ever leave my pdoc. (Attachment & dependency issues anyone?!)

Sigh. Sometimes I wonder if being a psychology student makes me more nuts because I analyze myself to death. Need to stop that. Pdoc agrees, but he says that makes me a very "interesting" client. Not sure how I feel about that...