((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Roz )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I can really relate to how you are feeling.

BUT!!! I try to remind myself that if I don't stay away from drinking, pills, etc. (I have a whole "menu" of crappy coping mechanisms!), I will never give myself the chance to really heal, to really find out what life COULD be like. I'll just be keeping myself stuck in a painful place.

It's hard to resist the urge, especially when I'm in a bad place - but I guess it's a leap of faith - that maybe things CAN get better, if I give myself a fighting chance.

Whatever happens, I'm rooting for you.