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However, over the past few days, I am wondering if it is OCD or reenactments

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Yes, well Soli I have the same sort of thoughts. I do believe that OCD has its roots in childhood trauma, and I believe there is a body of psychoanalytic theory out there for this. Can't access it atm but food for thought.

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So, I can't let this go because I can't integrate it.

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I so get this! I hate it when there is a loose marble rolling around in my brain. I think it needs something to attach to and it hasn't been able to because I don't fully understand it's nature or context....you know? All in due time Soli.

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I am totally "gunshy" now about writing things like this because I don't know if it is off-putting to others.

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It takes a heck of a lot more than that to put me off!

Peace out......