Jbug, you are ahead of the game by confronting your mom so early in life. I was in my 50s before I did so.

My t helped me find things to say. The first time I told my mother that her criticism was not helpful, she hung up on me. Eventually, she called back. My t also taught me to give positive reinforcement when she is supportive by telling her how much I appreciate all her support.

Both we and our parents can be retrained. It takes time, patience, and commitment to do it.

Best wishes Jbug. I really believe your parents will eventually learn to respect your boundaries.