((((((((((((wantstofly))))))))))))))

ty. I'm in therapy on my own ... for abusive childhood .... hubby has a kind of councellor who comes to talk to him about living with the survivor of abuse ......

I love Tony, he loves me. I just need so much affection, he finds it hard to show his feelings .... very hard. I feel unwanted, therefore unattractive ... he watches porn, well he says he's stopped but i'm not sure if the damage is done ... my therapist says it can take away reality for the man and ruin a relationship ... he used porn a lot ... but my sex drive is high so as you can imagine this hurts me ..... maybe it's normal, but i hate him using porn, call it jealousy or pride or whatever, i woudn't mind so much if he was more interested in me .... i'm not as slim as i was when we met but nether is he lol .... i asked him how he would feel if i was looking at pics of naked men and he said he would be angry!!!!! sigh

i see people our age in the street holding hands, my friends hubby is always touching her in a loving way. His brother is romantic with his g/f of 18 years ....

marriage councelling maybe a good idea, just a long waiting list .... sigh ..... this holiday just made me realise how far apart we are .... sorry to vent, Jin xx