Welcome to PC, Lily!

The moment you *finally* get your diagnosis changes your life only a little. The good part is you get a stabilizing agent that helps you to get the best of either anti depressants or anti psychotics. I remember before I was diagnosed and got several different treatments I felt there was "something wrong" with me, but what? Now I know and found out that thanks to this my hospitalizations so far were limited to exactly one (some years *before* diagnosis). I am 52 and experienced (hypo)mania, depression and mixed episodes. Learned to live with them and the duration is going down to a (couple of) day(s) and becoming more mild as well. All the best to you and your loved ones.

"Is it getting better or do you feel the same?" - U2