I feel like i am a bad person. i feel i get on everyones nerves. i feel ugly and nasty and paranoid. why do people play games with my mind ......why do people goout of their way to try to put me down when that's all i've always had all my life .... this maybe a pity party but i dont care .... i'm sick of it ... seems to me people who dont give a %#@&#! and walk all over others always get to the top or get what they want.

i am wondering what i did in my life to deserve all this ..... i've been told to toughen up ..... grow up ...... lighten up ..... lots of ups there but they always bring me down ....

sigh J