She doesn't want to go, she wants to come home. She visited yesterday, she was aloud to come home for a few hours. Which she was a good 3 1/2 hours late getting off the train (?). She said that she was window shopping, that she hasn't been in a mall in a couple years (the train station in either in the mall or next to it), plus she said the train is under construction, and it was Sunday (less departures on the weekend), I don't know, it's really hard to trust her. I waited at the train station for over an hour with my kids in the car, I finally left, my Mom picked her up a couple hours later (when she called).

She wants to get a job, she's not sure if the recovery house will let her. She's already starting to show signs of repeating the process; Home.. act up.. kicked out.. Homeless.. Jail.. rehab.. recovery house/halfway house.. Home again.

She doesn't seem different to me. I don't think this time will be any different. Maybe she'll surprise me.

It's not that I don't want her too, I just don't want to give my hopes up. I have sooooooo many times in the past. I use to stay up at night crying for her safety, so worried about her. I don't let myself get emotionally attached to her any more, it hurts to much when she doesn't succeed. I don't know if this is a good thing or not, I've just become numb.

Oops! I didn't mean to get into all of that!

Thanks for listening, sometimes it's good to write it down, even though no one might be listening.