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sma1234 said:
Hello,

I have recently discovered some things about the guy I have been living with for a year, that fits right into the catagories for psychopathic behaviour. Pathalogical lying, has been in an internet relationship with an old girlfriend, that he had no intention of ever going through with (he has since cut it off with her)

He says he has been hospitalized for breakdown caused by PTSD.

I don't want to fall into that sucker catagory, but I really think he does feel empathy. He has talked some about things he went through in the military and I saw guilt, and remorse there. He has low self esteem.

I really beleive he wants to change his behaviour. He says he does, and has agreed to get help from the VA. If he really wants to change (I really beleive he does) is there a possibility he can be helped??

I hate to sound like a victim here, but honestly beleive he loves me to death. He has said he would die for me, and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

Is there the posibility he can change? and he can be helped? And what would you suggest for treatment?
Thank You

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I wouldn't recommend the VA (Veterans Administration). Go to a private practitioner in psychology for the best results. The VA is notorious for inadequate and inappropriate "treatment." I say this as a veteran myself.

Can people change? Of course. The question is... do they want to change?
I want to challenge your thinking for a moment though... if he would die for you, why does he have Internet affairs? This isn't a "symptom" of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, so I hope he isn't using that as an excuse for his behavior.

If he has infidelities, this won't change after your married on it's own. You can't make someone change to fit an ideal that you have either. I would suggest that you seek a psychologist yourself, because this has to be very stressful for you.

I really hope it works out for you.