That's why we run into trouble, because we rely on what others think of us. If we take a good, long, hard look inward and recognize our own strengths and qualitites, then what others think of us doesn't matter nearly as much.

It's like a story my husband told me... and I don't mean to sound prejudiced in the least, it's just a story I know and makes the problem stand out clearly:

A college teacher, in a Black Culture class, asked a large black male in a class what he would do if someone called him a "N****". He said he'd beat the crap out of the person. He asked a young black female what she would do. She said "Nothing, because it wouldn't bother me." When the teacher asked her why, she said "It wouldn't bother me because I know who I am. All that person is doing is telling me who they are." Or as Beauty in the "I" says, they are telling me something about THEMSELVES.

We can choose to believe what others tell us about ourselves or we can discard it. Whenever I get a critisizm, it hurts, but when the sting subsides, I give the critisizm serious thought to see if there is any truth to it. If there is, then I try to stay aware of the behavior and slowly work on changing it. If I decide that there was very little or no truth to the critisizm, I forget it. I was once called "self-righteous." When I examined it, it was my firm stand on my own convictions that was being attacked. I happen to be proud of my convictions and will defend them when they are challenged. If you want to call me "self-righteous," then so be it.