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I did gather my courage – imagining I was crawling into Bene's armor. I had him with me all morning and held on to him at the osteopath’s again – REALLY helps the lil’s. Today was kinda triggering and scary at one point.

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What are lil's?
Probably a silly question... I think you work with kids, right Kiya?

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Anyway, after all was said, mom went into depression,,,, but i think we may just survive this. mom's totally changing her story now - saying we're not going to get evicted now… i never know where she stands - she said that my thinking that we would is ridiculous and that i should have never told anyone that... and went into the whole thing about what will happen to her if i move....so! at least my part is out - mom won't take action, like i knew.

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Kiya, you are a really awesome person, and this I mean. It takes so much courage to take risks emotionally and otherwise, in order to see improvement in your life. That, is really amazing. You would be surprised at how many people would rather wallow in misery than gather their courage and take a risk like you did. Congratulations on that.

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I think I get 2 gold stars for this!!

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No, FOUR GOLD STARS!

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Again mom is going back with questions and changing more of the story - arugh - magic thinking r us. she totally thought i would fix this today - where's my cap'n hat? With a really big feather! i wore my pirate shirt today =) It has a sword on it and says "At World's End" on the sleeve. Lol More Power to me. mom doesn't want the help at all and is pissed that i am moving out. She keeps saying "I didn't mean for you to tell them we're going to be evicted in 30 days!!! Why would you say something like that?" “Because you told me to drill sergeant!”
i told her that all my MDs and Ts have talked about it and wanted me to move for the past 4 years and that we’ve established "I cannot heal unless I move out." sooooooooooooooo it wasn't too big a shock (for me).
She still thinks she's going to pay the house on 15 hours a week at $9 an hour
Oy - i've never seen the eyes that are looking at me.... from mom. i don't recognize them at all – they are wide and round with fear. Please someone tell me I did not betray this woman!!

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In my past, I was stuck in similar situations with a very depressed mother who sounds a lot like yours does. You didn't betray anyone, Kiya---not yourself, not your mother, not your parents, friends, family, or even Benedict You are doing everything in your power to make it RIGHT. That's why you have more cajon@#$#$ than most guys I know!! KUDOS TO YOU!
Seriously!