NINE TYPES OF THINKING MISTAKES

Thinking mistakes are inaccuracies in our thinking. We can think of our thoughts as representations of reality, like photographs. If we have a smudge on the lens of the camera, then the photo will not accurately represent what was in front of the camera. Even if the lens is clear and we take a picture of only part of an object, then the picture will not accurately portray the whole object. It is safe to assume that everyone makes thinking mistakes so please don't assume that you are hopelessly defective if you recognize some or all of those described below.

It can be very helpful to be able to identify mistakes in our thinking because once we have discovered the mistake, we will know better how to correct it and feel better. Identifying our thinking mistakes is like diagnosing the thought problem. A good diagnosis usually points the way to a helpful remedy.

Below is a list of nine common thinking mistakes with examples of how they might occur. See if you can identify one or more ways that you have been victimized by this king of thinking.

1. All or Nothing (Black or White): This involves seeing things as though there were only two possible categories. Example: If a situation turns out imperfectly, you see it as a total failure. You forget to buy one item on a shipping list and think "Well, I really blew that trip." Can you think of an example of how you have used this thinking mistake? Try writing it down.

2. Over generalizing: A negative event is seen as a never-ending pattern of defeat. Example: When shopping you notice that your check-out line is moving very slowly and think "Why do I always pick the slowest check-out line?" What's your example?

3. Mental Filter: Seeing only the negative aspects of a situation while screening out the positive aspects. Example: You focus on a critical comment someone made while ignoring all the compliments you've received. Your example.

4. Jumping to Conclusions: Predicting things will go a certain way before you have the facts.

A. Mind Reading: Assuming that you know exactly what someone is or will be thinking about you. Example: An acquaintance doesn't seem as friendly as usual and you think "He/she must be angry with me." Your example:

B. Fortune-telling: Predicting that things will turn out badly and that you won't be able to cope. Example: Before going to a social gathering you have an image of people reacting negatively to you and you assume that you will be devastated. Your example.

5. Magnifying or Minimizing: Overvaluing or minimizing the importance of a situation or certain information. Example: Even though you may be a good parent and spouse, you think that it's shameful to have been laid off from a job. You get several job offers and accept one but think that doesn't make up for the loss. Your example.

6. Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that how you feel is an accurate reflection of how things are. Example: If you are feeling anxious, you assume that something bad is going to happen. Your example.

7. Shoulds: You tell yourself that things "should" or "shouldn't" be a certain way. We do this with ourselves, other people, and situations. Variations of this can include "musts," "have to's" and other imperatives which sound like they come from some external authority figure. Example: "You have to help me," "I shouldn't have done that." Your example.

8. Labeling: This is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking which can be damaging to our self-esteem and our relationships. Instead of simply acknowledging a mistake, we say "I'm just a screw-up" (substitute "loser," "jerk," "idiot," etc.) Applying labels to others (e.g., "that SOB") will tend to blind us to other qualities which could benefit us in the relationship. Everyone has labels they tend to use often. What are some of yours? (Include what you call yourself!)

9. Personalizing: (Blaming) This thinking mistake creates enormous preventable suffering. This occurs when we hold ourselves responsible for something which isn't or wasn't entirely under our control. As children, we take much of what happens around us personally, including how we are treated. When a child is mistreated by a parent, she will tend to assume that she is somehow to blame and may see herself as defective. When this process is reversed, we blame someone else for a situation we have a part in creating. We do this as adults often without realizing it. Now we have a choice about becoming aware of this destructive thinking mistake. Most importantly we can change it! Example: An acquaintance passes you in the market without saying hello. You think, "I must have done something wrong." Your example.

Tomorrow, Testing The Evidence!