(((depressme))))

Thanks. Yes you're right life isn't fair, and I'm pretty much used to that 99.9% of the time. You're also right that I need to get out of this funk I'm in before going to Berlin because even if I don't drink I'll have a pretty miserable time if I go over in the mood I'm in. Guess it's time to do a mini 4'th step and figure out what's really bothering me.

I know I'll be fine during the day, becuase I love history and I love playing tourist. I just have to make sure I have every evening planned in advance with activities that will be fun and not involve drinking.

I know I'm feeling extra cranky because of some stuff that's going on at work that I just have to suck up and deal with, that and my music teacher has me a little freaked at the amount of work she's piled on me - 4 new songs all at what for me are a fairly advanced level. Since I bought the new harp she's really expecting me to crank it up, which is what I wanted, it just feels all sort of overwhelming right now.

Plus I'm going out of town to a music festival this weekend. It'll be fun, but I know it'll be a bit of a trigger to drink when I' m alone in the hotel room in the evening = then it's work for 5 days and leave for Berlin. My life has been so stable for these last few months I'm not coping particularly well with upheaval even when it's positive.