Wow Adieu, that's amazing advise that I'm going to have to copy and print out if it's okay cause this topic applies to me. Jay, I have a similar problem and I'm wondering if maybe this sounds familiar to you. I feel the same way when I am in similar situations. When I reflect back on the events of an outing with others, especially when I don't know many of them well, I begin to see exactly where things went wrong... because they always do and I end up looking like a jack ***. I find that I do one of two things and I do them because I am overly eager to be accepted and liked. One thing I do is over compensate for my shyness by talking a lot and trying to be the life of the party... which is very wearing on people as Adieu so very well described especially when out with a group that's already well established. The other thing I do is clam up and hope that someone will take an interest in me and make an effort to get to know me... you know, by asking me questions about who I am, what I do, hobbies, etc. In my head this allows me to only say what that person wants to hear and nothing more. It's supposed to keep my mouth in check but it never works that way. Jay, thank you so much for posting this and Adieu, thanks you so much for insightful reply. You just taught me a few VERY valuable lessons. This could benefit those in the self esteem forum as well.

Ryan