It is so hard to let go. No matter how hard you try they will still do what they want to do. I know you said you can't make it to Alanon meetings because of your kids, but try your local library for their books. "The courage to change", "one day at at time". They can give you some support. There are also books on the subject of letting go. Keep talking about it.

My son will be homeless on Friday. He can't live here because I have a protection order. I would have to prove to the court that he has really changed in order to drop it and that hasn't happened. My T would choke me if I let him in my house! He hasn't been using drugs, but he doesn't have a job. I took him out to dinner on Monday and bought him some clothes and shoes and a monthly bus pass to help him out. He just doesn't put enough time into looking for a job. He could have at lease 40 application in a week. That would be 160 a month. Surely he would have come up with something by now. I told him if he would come up with a job to afford a apartment I would help him start a apartment. He has no motivation. This is also where I have to watch the co dependency. Co dependency is not only about drugs. It's helping someone when they could be helping themselves. So now I have to worry about where is he going to go to live on Friday. I seem more concerned about it than he does. I hope he finds somewhere to stay. Live is not easy.