Well I am thinking of the saying "your as happy as you make your mind up to be".. The session had a bit of a danger zone, but I think I got through it...we got talking about trust and how I know to continue in the relationship with T and trust that it will not turn out like my past life experiences it takes a lot of trust on my behalf...told her I'm afraid of having to experience that kick in the gut feeling and T said that she cannot gurantee that wont happen and this is where the confusion set it...I read what she said as meaning that she can't guarentee she will always be there and I started to sink until I said what I thought she meant and she said no what I meant was becasue of the work we do I can't guarentee you won't experience those old feelings...oh I got her then, I said oh yeah I know that has to happen but what I meant is I need to know that you will be teh safety net underneath all of that, that you will always be here...to which she said, oh yes I will always be there...then we talked about how I turn most things around from being understandable to be confused and she said perhaps like your experience of having 2 mothers, one you grew to knew then suddenly a new mother that you didnt know, that you couldnt understand and having live like that for your first 5yrs before you were given an explaintion of the confusion...that hit a spot...that 5yr was sitting listening to that statement...I left the session feeling better but still have the same old pull of wanting to full into a dark hole but remembering our chat and realising that it is in my head that I turn positives into negatives and I do have a choice...