I feel so out of control of myself...
It feels like my emotions are running the show, something they never get to do, I am always in control..but now that my emotions and moods are runnig wild I have no control...and the urges are horrible..I just want to so %#@&#! bad, because I can always control my SI.

I'm so shakey here latley my nerves are on high end, I've been working way more than I should because work is my only escape, call me a workaholic but I can contorl work too...I just need to be in control...

I want this so bad, yet I don't...I just need some relief...but not like this.. I just want all of this to go away......I need this but it's so bad for me..........