Im sorry. It sounds like you are fighting the si urge. Thats good. I wish I could give you the perfect answer and make it all go away. I just dont know what that would be. I guess I can say that I care, I am with you and your not alone. I know support over the internet isnt the same as in real life, but sometimes its all we have. I have no idea how i got through last night it was the most horriable urge I ever had. It can be done and the feeling can go away for a while, thats all I know. Riding it out seems to be so very hard, It can be done and please be safe.