How can I forget when I lose people? I have memory problems yes... but this isn't fair.

I think was a series of bad "11's" in 2001... but I can't remember when my Grandpa died or when Missy (my family's cat, she was 20? when she died) died either.

I've got records of when other close family members have died recently... but not them. And it's tearing me up inside. I feel like a horrid person for it.

Why can't I remember? It isn't fair. I need to remember, because I don't want to forget them.

My poor babies (animals) and my poor family... I can remember birthdays (usually) ... it's everything else that's hard.

I suck today. But I have a nagging feeling that in 5 days, it's an anniversary. And I WANT TO REMEMBER DAMMIT.

Forgive me... lots of talk of death recently in my friends lives around me has got me on a roll. (No, it's nobody here).

Life is too short. And NOT fair.