I'm so sorry you're in the dumpster. I'm sorry you're afraid. But hey, it's freakin scary.

I know you ride bipolar bare back, and know your way around the un medicated cycle, so I'll dispense with some of the knee jerk responses down that avenue, and also speak directly to the part of you that has to keep you together.

If you don't already have an emergency plan in place with your boss for the coincidence of your cycle with his out of town plans, it sounds like you need one. You might know from experience how long to expect this disturbance in the force to continue, if you think about it. Sometimes that is some help. For that time, you really need to make yourself safe. I'm struck by how much better you sounded once you got home. I know that you still feel bad, but right now, every bit matters. You shouldn't really be at work. But I think you know that, and think you will go back tomorrow. lol. (you said you wanted to hear from people who "know" lol) But keep track, you know before you snap, but you have to act to protect yourself. That might mean not being at work for a while.

The thing is, it isn't like this thing is set for X number of days, and no matter what you do for those days, it will elapse at the predestined time. The things you do either make it worse or make it better. You can make it a lot longer and a lot more severe by exceeding your abilities. Rising to a challenge is one thing, and foolishness is another, when it's hardest to tell the difference, it matters the most.

You thought you were babbling. Sheesh.

To distill it all down to something finer, I just get the sense from you that you are tough and capable and able to do a fair amount of heroics rather routinely, and that you can be over confident in yourself when you really need to hunker down.

So, as your friend, I offer this. You know your way around, you have to make the call.

I hope you feel better right away.