I think you are your own worst enemy. I really feel you should take a huge step back and get some perspective in life, your children first and foremost, they need some good examples in life and some consistancy.

Then your marriage, ask yourself are you commited to it or not if not then why not ? If you truly feel that your marriage is over with then leave.

Then yourself, you need some self respect and to get that maybe some time alone without a man on the scene, this will do your children good too.