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MissCharlotte said:
Yesterday's session was surprisingly difficult. I had not placed even one call since last week and didn't even leave any messages for him like I usually do. I am protecting myself from his impending vacation.

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I can so relate to this, Miss C. My T is out of town the second half of this week, so I am missing my Friday appointment, and I haven't called or e-mailed at all (normally, I call or e-mail daily). It's like it's easier to just pretend he doesn't even exist if he's not going to be there. But that's kind of scary - like, am I shutting down that part of myself that is connected to T? And can I get it back when I want to?

I'm always tempted to start skipping appointments before he has a vacation. Maybe so I can abandon him BEFORE he abandons me.

I agree with pink - I hope you can tell him the things you said in your last paragraph. Before my T's last vacation, I tearfully told him every thought and feeling I was having about him leaving - no matter how immature or childish they seemed (things like "I want you all to myself" while sobbing and hiding behind my hands ). In the end, it felt really healing - I was completely honest, he was totally accepting, and somehow, I felt more connected with him before he left instead of less.

(((((((((((((((((((((((( Miss )))))))))))))))))))))))))) T vacations are so hard. I hope you will come here and let us support you while he's gone.