</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
x_BabyG_x said:

I told him that when I look into the future, and I see myself with no scars and not self harming, I panic. The first thought that comes into my head is 'No. That cant happen.' I know I want to be SI free, but there is a huge part of me that doesnt want to stop this.



</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

(((((((((((((((((((( babyG )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Maybe this is one of those "one day at a time" things. Like you said, when you first gave it up, it was totally for Phil, but now you can at least see where it might also be for you someday. That's so much progress. What if you just look at today, instead of some future when the scars have faded, etc.? Whenever I try to let go of a coping mechanism - whether it's my ED, or SI, or drinking, or whatever - it's so, so scary to me to think about a future without it. But if I can just stay in today, it feels more manageable, and positive things start to happen.

You are doing SO great. You are an inspiration!