Mouse,

OMG your post truly resonated. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I guess thats what I always feared the most, that without T I cease to exist at all.

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THAT IS IT!!!!!!!!! I was trying to explain to him tonite that I am afraid that during his vacation I will hit a certain point where I will have to re-invent myself once again as I have so many times in my life. I am tired of doing this and don't want to anymore. But I can only hold onto him for about five days, a week tops then poof!-he's gone. I think that the feelings of abandonment from my mother are what comes up for me.

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the ablity to have a healthy relationship with another

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Tonite I told him that I was not having relationships with any more people--just animals!