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What do you think is holding you back from making this wish a reality?

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You know that's a good question and one that T and I explored tonight. Although the imbalance is part of the hesitation the bigger dilemma for me is shame. I hold shame inside of me -- huge amounts--. There is shame for feeling, shame for feeling loving feelings, shame for needing love and shame for just existing. Most of this came from my mother. T called it my "forbidden feelings."

Of course the imbalance in the relationship is also huge. And because I hold so much shame -- it makes that imbalance that much more volatile.

Peace out sistah