Myzen, sounds good, i'm surprised and proud at the same time that my post could be of such help. I had no idea this is where it would head when i wrote it but thanks, i really apreciate your complement.
Also i can relate to your relationships with your family. I was adopted so i don't know any of my real birth family, except my siser whom i've grown up with. And out of the all the kids in the family it seemed like i was your version of yourself. I seemed to be the topic of conversation, and unfortionatly the target of critisism and ridicule. I don't necessarily believe that was a bad thing but i know what your going through. Unfortionatly i'm now realizing that my sister went through something that could be considered worse, and that's just plain being over looked and forgotten about. I can't seem to feel bad about my situation when i know that she probably went/is going through something I never even thought about much. Thanks and good luck - J>L