Thanks sqrl. I'm much better today. Did mangage to get some sleep last night. What a relief! It's the lack of sleep that pushes me over the edge...I could not have gone one more night without some sleep. Indeed I am back at work this morning...sometimes I just have to suck it up and do my job. Don't always have a choice in the matter, ppl depend on me and if it means I end with a more spectacular breakdown than I would have had otherwise than so be it. That's a sacrifice I have to make. If only I could pick and choose when these things happened it certainly would make life more managable. But since I don't have that option....I suck it up. Perhaps I am overconfident in my ability to "suck it up", but perhaps its that very confidence that has allowed me to do it...and muddle through somehow and come out the other side still in tact. I'm still here, right? My boss does allow my "mental health" days in lieu of vacation time, normally this is not an issue as he's not out of town very often, just happened to be very bad timing with this particular cycle.

I find myself feeling particularly vulnerable this morning...having just reread my post. Not a pretty picture, huh? Oh well. I was open, honest and reached out for help...ultimately that's what really counts...not my pride. Bruised as it is, I feel glad I made that post (yes, I actually know how I'm feeling today, progress?). Thanks for the support Angie and sqrl. I'm eternally grateful. xo TgrsPurr.