I, too, have felt as you do. I'm sorry that you are in so much pain. Having a good friend is such a blessing. Perhaps this friend could spend an extended period of time with you? Just being around can be a comfort to someone who's hurting. Words don't have to be spoken because sometimes words do not convey the empathy or sympathy that may truly be felt. But a person's presence--quiet and reassuring--can mean so much. I will say a little prayer for you. Take care.