You are not alone, one of us is always around to offer comfort and support. I'm not sure this frog of little brain can do much in the comfort department. I can however give ((( hugs )))
Those downward spirals are horrible. We always keep hoping we are at the bottom but never are. It's a long time until you get to see your T and having the drowning feeling makes it feel even farther away.
Try doing just one thing each day. Little steps are easier to focus on. (Sometimes getting out of bed is my "thing" for the day).

((((( pj56 )))))