I would venture a guess that many of us here on PC are "the ones" who have felt different. I know I did but for "different" reasons than yours. Like you, I feel normal with T. It's an awesome experience, one that I'm not likely to give up any time soon.

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(I can't call her 'T,' lol.... MY T is T, not her)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Can we call her the marriage counselor or Brunhilde?

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How much do I carry around the "sick" label? How does that affect my interactions? In my marriage, why do I feel that imbalance so strongly? Is it my perception? Does H perpetuate it?

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Wow, these are good questions. But they only apply to the category of mental health. You know, I think that in any marriage each partner carries certain parts or labels depending on the category. Sometimes when I complain to T about something I perceive as unfair he says to me that it's more an even distribution of resources not necessarily an equal one. For example, theoretically I am the one who manages the bills in our partnership. My husband has a much stronger ability to withstand or shrug off the trauma of life than I do. I prefer not to think of myself as the sick one but the one who needs help in that area right now.

Maybe you can look at other areas of your marriage and see where the weight falls on his shoulders instead of yours and where you are strong. It might make you feel better.

(((((((((Pinksoil))))))))))