It is taking a great amount of courage to write this, but I think the time has come to share this with you.

I have had multiple closed head injuries. I was hospitalized four days for the last one. The really grating thing was the Drs kept asking me how long I was out. Well, I was in the dark, sure didn't check my watch while falling and sure didn't check it when I sort of came to in the hospital.

I had no idea that multiple concussions could catch up with you over time and cause permanent brain damage...

Over the last four or five months, my friends have noticed changes in me that I didn't realize were happening. Now it's severe enough that I realize I'm in trouble.

I can't remember things, I get "lost" just thinking and I've gotten lost driving.

I've always made lists before, but now I have to remember to make the list and then I have to remember what to put on the lists. I leave post it notes on the bathroom mirror to tell me where I'm supposed to be that day if I have an appt.

Sometimes I can't remember the names of the simplest things. The only thing I can do is describe it the best I can and my friends guess until they get the right word.

The most frightening part for me is that I can't focus enough to read a book, and sometimes I can't even make it through a short article. I have to check my posts over and over again to see if I've written something backwards or if it made sense.

When I was working I had to write a newsletter every Mondy that went to our WV employees, but also all across the nation and to our Home Office. I won an award for outstanding work. Well, that talent is gone.

I'll be reading something on here, and suddenly it looks like Russian to me. I don't recognize the letters so I can't sound them out.

My keyboarding is now the pits and I can't spell, so I am very self conscious in chat or posts.

I guess this all boils down to I am in a terrifying place in my life, and please put up with my mistakes. I'm doing the very best I can.

Jan