hi..

I love and miss you all so very much....

I am going thru a difficult time right now... and my T and pdoc.. are not sure what has brought this about...

I am in daily therapy... with seeing my pdoc.. weekly..

I started having memory flooding.. and body memories - without being triggered... and.. it hasn't stopped... and we all can't get it to stop...

So... life.. is very, very difficult..

Also...2 of my alters have severe OCD - one 13 and one 23.. so I am doing OCD things.. you might say...

Meds.. do not help...

I guess... it was just "time"... for me to go thru this...

I do not want to go to psych. hospital... it would be very hard having DID - my "littles" would be very, very scared.. and I would hide under the bed...

So... my T is helping me.. to stay in my home.... along.. with help from my son...

I.... am...severely disassociated right now... along with of all things integration.

The integration.. of 4 of my alters... has left me in a state of confusion... trying to figure how to live as one.. to do the normal things... that were done in different ways.. by the 4...

I have many other alters... but the 4... kept me... functioning..

I am "itsme"... the alter that resulted from the 4 integrating...

I won't be back for awhile.. I just wanted you to know.. that I very much miss you.. you are all so very important to me..

freewill